Ward G.
Canadian Milit. Hospital,
Kirkdale, Liverpool.
Dec. 12., '17.

My dear Lulu

Today the mail came & I received four splendid letters from you, the last being dated Nov. 22.. Before that I had only had one letter from you for two weeks. Letters must be held up somewhere.

It is great to get your letters, dear Lulu & the more we get to know each other the more I enjoy getting them. If only we could be together for just one hour it would be even better. But some day that will come too. Let us both keep on hoping.

Now I have so many things to tell you that I dont know where to start. As to any further news - for that is most important, isn't it - about my departure, I have very little to say. My papers have returned from London & this morning I was summoned to the Paymaster's office & had to give him my pay book. That has to be sent to London, totalled & I shall be summoned again to the office & sign my "last pay cheque," & then I shall be ready to take my turn to go to Canada. Strong rumours are afloat that a Hospital Ship sails this weekend, but as the lists of those going are already made up, I shall not be going. I am afraid that I shall not be able to go until the boat returns & starts again. It is too bad my dear little girl, but there is nothing to do but smile, I am afraid. Oh, how I wish I was with you!

News has just come that a boat goes tomorrow, & the names of those going read out, & I am not amongst them! Another may go in about a week after that but it is unlikely that I shall be amongst them as the list for that too seems to be made up, & I have not got my L.P.C. signed. Never mind, I am in the right track now, & not on a siding as I was.

In reading you letters I am so glad to find that you like the very things that I like. I wondered vaguely whether you would care for pictures, but I thought that you must in loving music. Literature, art music are almost the same to me. I love all three though I know so little about them. You will be surprised about my ignorance of music especially!

And when I found you liked pictures I wondered what kind you liked best. From your remarks on the p.c's I gather you like sea views best; possibly because you have always been near the sea. That is the kind I like too, & when I was Wast the things I missed perhaps & longed for most of all was for the sea. So I decided what to do, & I have been down to the art store & bought three watercolors; two by Samuel Brown, & a third by Hanna Ford. They are all three sea-scapes, & I think them very beautiful. I daren't tell you what I paid for them, especially since you are buying war-bonds. Since one of the Studio men tells me that they may not go by mail, I am going to run the risk of taking them with me.

You will wonder how I "raised the wind". Well, I went to the Paymaster & tried to get some money, but he refused me though I was well within my rights. But the next day I was sent for to hand in my pay-book & to my surprise he handed me £10., as a last payment. I was so taken aback that I hardly knew how to carry it. IT was a "Windfall" - whatever may be the origin of that term.

But now I am "going to be good" - as you asked me in one of your letters. I shall economize all I can.

But it is so hard to have to write that I am not coming, when every letter you write shows that you are expecting me almost any day. I am so sorry to disappoint you, Lulu dear. I shall certainly cable before I sail, & I do not anticipate any trouble in doing so, so dont expect me before you receive a cable.

I am not a bit sorry that Carman did not go to France, Lulu. There is plenty of time for him yet I am afraid. You know that apart from the danger, France is not very pleasant in Winter. I know that when Spring came after last Winter, a little daisy seemed like a peep into promised Paradise. I am glad that you have had a cable from Ainley since Passenchdale (? Spelling) too, for we must have had heavy casualties in getting there. Wouldn't it be great if they both came back to you without a scratch. Thousands will, I am sure, so let us be very cheerful. God over-rules even where shells fall thickest, we both believe, dont we?

What a dreadfully mixed up jumble this letter is! That is the worst of beginning to write one day & finishing another.

So you think I look very thin in my photo! I sometimes think that you must have forgotten what I did look like; & then I wonder whether the pictures we both have in our minds of each other are not mistaken. I have laughed to myself many a time as I imagined myself getting to Digby & perhaps not were knowing you when I saw you. What dreadful possibilities there are of ludicrous blunders for either or both of us when we do get together. Just imagine! Possibly there may be a dozen men about my size, all dressed alike, & you might go to the wrong Tom. And again: there might be a dozen ladies, & think of the horror of such a bashful fellow as myself going with outstretched hand to the wrong Lulu. Why the situation would be simply awful! We shall have to have some sign so we can "spot" on another in the biggest crowd, or at a distance on a boat from say a pier. What shall it be? You had better wear a white bow on you furs - if it is winter. And if it is summer - on your dress. Wouldn't it all be too funny? What shall I wear?

But seriously. I dont think I have changed much & I believe I weigh just about what I did when I left Digby. Shall I tell you what it was just after I got out of bed? It was about 136 Ibs.. I am very nearly a bantam weight. But possibly I may get fatter when I get to "good Canadian food", as you say.

All the men in my ward who are going are now putting on their khaki!

But somehow I cannot write a decent letter. What human being could write under circumstances like these!

I hope you got the parcel I sent you safely. It will be after Xmas when you get this I suppose & my little girl will have suffered the disappointment she spoke of in her letter.

I can send lots of love. May our turn come soon.
Yours as ever,
Tom.