23rd. Bn.,
Dibgate, Shorncliffe,
July 24th. 1915.
My darling Fern:
Great was my delight to find waiting for me seven letters on my return to England on Thursday night and among them four from you. I was feeling very blue and disgusted with everything and they quite cheered me up and sent me off to sleep happy. For really nothing else can make me permanently unhappy as long as you continue to love me my own wee girl. Sometimes I simply crave for the sight of you till it hurts and, well I shall soon have forgotten how to kiss! Do you think you could teach me all over again, little lady? If I ever get my arms about you again I think I shall smother you in my clumsy demonstrations of affection and joy. I think I shall be like a great big pup when his master comes home from a long journey. Sometimes I feel like running into the station on my way to town and sending you a wire to come over at once. Then I walk past quickly for fear I should do something rash.
However, dont think I have been unhappy over here because really everything has been very pleasant up to now all things considered. It is just the longing for you that makes me look a couple of miles away over the hills for a half hour or more at a time so very often. Listen, dearest, not a word, sh. read it behind the door: I have made a discovery – there is room in my sleeping bag for you! Now isn't it splendid that you are one of these dear willowy creatures. Of course I can't avail myself of the possibilities thus opened out before me just now, but when I come home and we go on that canoe trip, won't you be kept warm under the blue sky at nights.
First, you fold two blankets under the flap on the bottom, then a little flannelette sheet to make it comfy, and clean, then my big brown blankets folded on top, and lastly the waterproof flap pulled over and strapped, and there we are with your head pillowed in my arm, as cozy as two bugs in a rug. For myself just now, I have to be satisfied with one blanket underneath and no flannelette sheet, as the weight of the whole thing with the valise pillow packed must now exceed about thirty-five pounds. But what is a little extra weight over a portage when it is to make one's sweetheart comfy.
Besides this valise I carry on me about fifty pounds of junk. I have taken the ordinary private's webb and had it fixed up a little to suit me. All our bunch of taken the same idea. Everything hands by snap hooks into big eyelets in the wide webb belt and is supported by the cross straps over the shoulders. There is a large haversack bigger than the men's for rations, first aid kit, iodine ampules, that is little glass tubes of iodine wrapped in cotton wool which one simply snaps by a pressure of the fingers and then rub on a wound to guard against tetanus; then wire cutters, an electric flash, a folding cup, knife, fork and spook, etc. etc. An officer is a regular travelling ambulance and hardware store. This hangs on the left side and just above it on the belt my entrenching tool handle, like a policeman's baton and my clip pouch holding two extra magazines for the revolver. Just in front of the haversack hangs me gun, left front so to speak with the lanyard round my neck. The cartridge pouches which the men have all plastered over on the straps and belt in front we have stripped off, but have fastened one pouch for about thirty rounds on the belt behind, just in case we found it necessary to use a rifle at any time. It is always easy enough to pick up a rifle but ammunition is like hen's teeth. Besides this of course the pack holding a change of underwear and shirt, shaving kit, mess tin and greatcoat fastened on behind. The beauty of this webb kit is that instead of having all these things on separate straps crossing the chest everything hangs on the belt and all one does at a halt is to undo the belt and slip the whole thing off like a coat. Besides there is no pressure on the chest, it all comes on the shoulders and back. If I find I am to stay here any time I shall buy a camera and take some snaps of the boys in full war paint to send to you. Perhaps in the meantime you will be able to visualize us on the march from the short description.
I know, dear, how disappointed you will be not to be getting all sorts of snaps but of course cameras are taboo in France and none of the officers have them. I should have bought a small one to use here, but we only got our June pay yesterday morning, so have had to lie low. Fortunately we got our clothing and kit allowance shortly after we arrived and have managed to hold out. Now, we shall be getting two months' pay within a few days of each other so will be regular young billionaires. I think the four of us will have to arrange a little trip to London, eh what! The other three are even more pleased to get some money than I. They were absolutely broke.
Jack Crawford spends all his money on clothes and hair oil. He has the most wonderful shirts and breeches etc. etc. George's little weakness is taxicabs to all the places within a fort mile radius, while Arnolds spends his shillings on food and in a vain endeavor to find himself something that will keep him dry. He has bought about 'steen different kinds of waterproofs and rubber sheets, boot, and so on, and still the water trickles in. The only waterproof thing in the bunch is my rubber lined coat that I paid seven dollars for. The only fault with it is that the moisture from one's body cannot soak into the rubber and consequently makes the coat wet in the inside if the day is at all warm. So I am thinking of having a blanket lining put into it on buttons like a lined Burberry. It will then do for a summer great coat as well as a watershed.
The one thing I have spent a lot of money on is boots. English boots are wonderful but expensive. I paid £5.4.5, that is over $15. for a paid made to order, hand sewn marching boots, which I have no doubt will be a good investment. They are very heavy but wonderfully made and comfortable as a glove. Really it's English boots are a temptation. The bootmaker let me try on a pair of high boots just going out to Sir John French, 6 guineas, $30. absolutely pomme de terre, as Arnold says. I think I shall have to buy a pair to swank home in after the war. As it is for the present, I have a scheme to turn my brown rubber boots into a good pair of trench boots; have leather soles and hob nails sewn onto them and a leather extension to the top to lace up above my knees. I think that for ordinary circumstances that should keep me dry. No leather boot, however good, can be left in water for hours at a time without in time letting in water. Of course if we get up against what gave old Jack Neale neuritis, no boots or anything else will keep me dry.. He stood for three days and nights up to his knees in water when the Canadians first went out. Things are better now they tell me, and the trenches are well drained in most cases.
In connection with these trench boots I wonder if you and Molly could get me or get someone to knit me two or three pairs of rubber-boots socks. If you kept your eyes open you might even be able to buy what I want just as easily and then fix them up for me. Here is my idea. These socks should belong, reaching right up to under the knee like an ordinary lumberman's sock. That is the first point. Then the foot of sock should be fairly close knit but the upper part is just as good or better if loosely knit like a scarf. It is warmer so and less work. The idea is that it pulls over another ordinary sock. Then lastly the toes and heels should be capped neatly with stout linen as tubber boots wear out a pair of socks in a day unless this is done do you get the idea? Do tell me if it is practical and whether it can be done.
It is my own idea mostly. Better see Mother about it too. Ones feet are the most important part of the anatomy on active service.
Here I have been talking clothes to you, pet, for about four pages, I think, just like a mincing debutante. However, you will have to listen patiently because I always do when you want to tell me about some wonderful new creation that is bulging out of your bump of dressmaking, or whatever the phrenological obtrusion is called which indicates artistic taste in clothes.
I have really been talking about anything which would keep me from remembering that I am back here in England again without any men, wondering what to do with myself. Of course we all four are in the same boat, but I wish the damn thing would sink with all on board. All the officers here are those who have been left behind for instruction of reinforcements and so on, and most of them have an ingrowing grouch. They hate themselves almost as much as they hate everyone else. I suppose they can hardly be blamed as they have seen their men all go out as reinforcements, and most of them come back too, for that matter, and here they are still. Anyway as Crawford says I am sick of officers and I want my men. We are going to try and get a course at the Staff College or in the machine gun tactics, or something of that sort to keep us occupied. Major Smith of course went forward from Boulogne with the company.
Crawford and I managed to get into the train for the trenches, but one Sergt. Major came around calling, "Mister Crawford". "Here I am" says Crawford, thinking he is going to be made a Captain on the spot. "Are you Mister Crawford, Sir" (Salute) – "Yes" – "You're to come off sir" (Salute). We took the next train back and the boat for England, only catching the faintest sound of the big guns' roar. While I write the dear old Major and the boys are doing deeds of deathless vallor I suppose without their four efficient platoon commanders. Exit small flea – what are you among the millions!
We are going down to Seabrook to see Mrs. Smith this afternoon and give her the last word from her Hubby. Dear Major Smith, he is one of the princes of this earth Fernie dear, and I hope that before long I shall be with him again. He promised to speak to Colonel Rennie for me and get me up as soon as possible.
Everything is very quiet at the front just now they say. It is the only thing in the whole situation at present which is at all encouraging. If the Russians were really suffering a disastrous defeat and if as they say we are sending over a complete division every week, 20,000 men, one would think that we would be driving forward at all costs in order to force the Germans to withdraw troops from the East. It looks as if the Russians were really confident of holding the Germans off and beating them back from the last line of defences. It is of course the traditional strategy of Russia to retreat and keep their army together rather than stand and be broken. It is a magnificent strategy when it is successful, but is rather trying while the retreat is on.
All the efforts of the English at present seem to be on the Dardanelles front. When we are successful there of course it means that Germany is surrounded and we can get ammunition through to the Russians. It must be slow but the net is closing. It must close at any cost. Do you know that if Germany were to come out of this war successful, the Kaiser they say would make untold millions. He is a chief shareholder in Krupps into whose coffers all the wealth of Germany is pouring to-day so that the great War Lord is coining gold from the lifeblood of his own people. The spirit of the British people is changing. In the early part of the war they seemed to be willing to beat Germany and let her be. How I fancy there will be a great difficulty in preventing them demanding a terrible reckoning. The longer the war lasts the more are we forced to utilize military measures throughout the whole nation, and the more the military doctrines and military considerations engage the thoughts of the people as a whole. It will need a strong man at the end of the war, a man of great foresight to prevent Europe reeking a terrible revenge.
Then, moreover, the game is beginning to get rather cynical. For instance: I have no doubt that England at present is jingling about one hundred million pounds of the new war loan in front of Roumania and saying: "Come on in you chaps "its a fine large game and if you put up a good scrap we may fix you up with a nice fat slice of Austria". Of course I suppose the tactica are quite legitimate but it smacks rather of a Canadian election fight.
I was so glad to gather from your letters that you are quite well, dearest, and I hope you will feel much better since your holidays. You dear little silly, so you think I get your letters in a day or two. It is usually two weeks before they arrive so it was too late to address your mail to Bwomanville. I hope Cassie was good enough to forward any that arrived at No. 19. I am sending this letter to Belleville. It may reach there a day or two ahead of you, but that wont matter. they can put it in the refrigerator. Tell Ann rgar her cousin, Joyce Hutton is in London, or rather the Crawford and I met her there when we were up. My own cousin, Margaret Geddes. is there too, but I was unable to find her. Next time perhaps better luck. You and Ann will have a splendid time together, won't you darling? It is splendid that she is so fond of you and you of her. I am almost tempted to drop her a line sometime. If I come across poor old Dick anywhere I certainly shall. I hope that he is better by now.
Isn't it ripping about Olive. I hope she is able to find me. Let me have her address. These newly-weds usually have to be hunted up. They dont go off on tours of exploration in military camps, not for a while anyway.
I had a letter from my relatives in Scotland yesterday asking me up there anytime I cared to go so I feel now that whatever happens there is someone over here that Mother and you all may feel is keeping an eye on little pet Errol.
Look here, you silly, I can see perfectly well from one of your letters some time ago and a line or two in one I have just received that a certain passage in that letter of Mother's I sent you has been hurting that absurd the sensitive pride of yours. Of course Mother loves you, darling, for your own sweet self, and will love you more as she knows you better. It was quite natural that she should say she would love and cherish you for my sake in writing to me. She was trying to assure me that they all would keep an eye on your welfare and help you in case of any harm befalling you or I. But as long as you are the Fernie I have loved and don't eat your peas with your knife, I know that no one can help loving you, even such a fastidious person as my own dear mother. In fact it is only a person like her dearie who can fully appreciate you and all you have had to put up with and what a brave, sweet, woman you are. Oh my darling, my darling, let her see that you love me, and what you are sacrificing because you love me, and I know she will always love you. Dont let that foolish pride run away with you! You can't be in the centre of everyone's stage, and I suppose with Mother I do come first, eh!
Did I tell you that I have had the watch you gave me radiumized so that at night it can be read. You would think it very cute I have no doubt.
I have to take a bunch of misfits over to the doctor now, so good-bye dearest.
Love for ever, and thousands of kisses,
Yours,
ERROL.